When you listen to a song you used to listen to ages ago and you get that weird as fuck spine chilling feeling as you remember how your life was at that point in time
Don’t let the media warp your perception of beauty. Beauty is pizza.
if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious
why the hell are toilets so loud?!! like i’m half asleep and then i flush and it’s like a fucking mariachi band just started playing in my house at 3 am
wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?
that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried
FLUFFY MILK HORSE
I WANTED THOSE REPORTS ON MY DESK AN HOUR AGO
SUSAN HAVE YOU SEEN BRIAN HE HAS MY STAPLER.
SUSAN stop dancing. This is serious.
This is how I feel when I take off my skinny jeans.
this is how it feels when i take off my bra
This is how i feel when my human form is ripped to shreds only to reveal my true form of a cecaelian sea witch
everyone says they want a fairytale wedding but when i show up and curse their firstborn suddenly i’m the jerk